Boundless Enthusiasm - The Enthusiastic Musings of Marshall Ian Sontag

Surely by now we have been properly introduced. If not, I suggest you do so now or these words on a screen won’t make much sense.

(And you might miss the inside jokes.)

I’m sure you’re wondering why I summoned you here, so here goes: I would like to extend an invitation to everyone to attend my Grand Opening. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get invitations printed on such short notice, so I’m gonna have to reuse an old one — just pretend it says something else. Here you go:

I’ve spent the last several months attending both individualized and group therapy twice a week, in addition to a more frequent meditation practice than ever before and the results have been quite grand indeed. On several occasions recently, I have experienced this very calm state of interest and engagement. Some might call it joy, but for me it produced a sense of boundless enthusiasm that became the inspiration for this blog’s name and design.

Apart from those peak states, the opening of my heart is changing me for the better in a number of ways: I’m less emotionally-inhibited. I’m connecting with people more. I’m not getting as angry. I’m more spontaneously romantic. I’m standing up for myself more. I cry more. I’m apologizing more easily — and doing so with feeling more frequently . I’m more able and willing to look people in the eye. I’m staying present for my feelings more often, rather than distracting myself from them.

Don’t get me wrong. Much of life still seems like a struggle and I can’t do those things all the time. I’m not in the Garden of Eden quite yet — but I’m closer than I’ve ever been and I refuse to stop eating from the Tree of Knowledge, damnit!

*Ahem* Anyway, it is now my firm opinion that an emotionally-inhibited life is a life only half-lived. Opening up your heart can be a painful process, but the costs of keeping it closed are far greater. I feel a mix of deep sorrow and compassion when I think about the child within me that learned to cut off his emotions as a way of dealing with an irrational world — the kind of world that robbed him of his profit from memorizing and chanting an entire torah portion for his Bar Mitzvah. I feel it more when I think about my friends and family members that are stricken with this heart disease. On a good day, I feel pain for everyone in the world that’s had to close their heart to protect it from the blood-thirsty grip of a cruel world and it gives me this inspirational sense of mission to change the world.

But don’t worry — eventually I’ll move most of this emotional chat to a new emotional intelligence blog. I realize those kinds of subjects are uncomfortable to discuss with some people because it creates feelings of anxiety, skepticism or disdain due to their own emotional inhibition, so I’ll try not to open up my heart too often. No guarantees, however — there will be days when it just can’t be stopped.

This entry was posted on Monday, May 22nd, 2006 at 8:11 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.